We all have our own individual experience when we pass into adulthood, but keep in mind there was a time that being a "nerd" was far less socially acceptable to your parents growing up than when you were growing up.
When I was a kid, a parent on the radio said this about gay marriage: "I am the gatekeeper for what is socially acceptable for my child."
I asked my Dad about that statement, and he said pretty clearly "That's an unrealistic expectation of what parenthood is. You're more of a bodyguard or secret service. You can listen and provide context, do your best to stop your child from being put into danger, but you cannot stop, control or manage a child's, much less a teenagers, world experience."
I grew up in the 80s and 90s for that matter. Being a nerd was being an outcast. Not socially acceptable at all. I find it ironic (and in many ways disgraceful) that being a nerd became sort of mainstream.
Back in the day a parent was absolutely the gatekeeper of what was socially acceptable to a child. Nowadays, probably less so.
Teenagers were always uncontrollable. Try to control them and they will defy you. I know I did, and essentially every other teenager I came in contact with.
I think you're viewing your parents experience of gatekeeper through their own perceptions and biases. You're an atheist, and I assume a first generation atheist, what was your path towards that belief if they really had that level of control over your lived experience, worldview, and knowledge?
> You're an atheist, and I assume a first generation atheist, what was your path towards that belief if they really had that level of control over your lived experience, worldview, and knowledge?
I became an atheist when I was a teenager. Before that the idea of religion was just something taught to me by my parents. I was taught to pray and that there was a God above, and all that. (It was actually a bit more complicated than that, as my parents had different religions each).
I was, however, given the freedom to explore my own ideas about religion and to develop my own views about the world once I was a little older. Honestly, I think they handled it all quite well.
For that matter, if my daughter decides to be religious once she grows up a little, she will also have my support.
My way to view this is that while she is a baby and later a small girl I am fully responsible for her. As she grows up, the more I will be on the background, and her own ideas will take the center stage instead. As I usually say "I'll teach her everything I can, she will learn everything she wants".
When I was a kid, a parent on the radio said this about gay marriage: "I am the gatekeeper for what is socially acceptable for my child."
I asked my Dad about that statement, and he said pretty clearly "That's an unrealistic expectation of what parenthood is. You're more of a bodyguard or secret service. You can listen and provide context, do your best to stop your child from being put into danger, but you cannot stop, control or manage a child's, much less a teenagers, world experience."